xav and juls just have this way of surprising me
waltz in through the door once again holding this lovely sunflower wrapped in crushedpaper
how absolutely gorgeous right?

abby and viv gave me pretty bright orange roses too
wish i could show you how lovely they are but they are already drying
and had no camera on tuesday ):

reflections of a 20year old
two decades later and i am still searching for myself. uncertain of the answers and totally unclear about my plans for the future.

many a times a look at my life and i cant help but wander what it is that i have achieved. what have i to be proud about. what it is that makes me...me. does simply having once been a sports person, making decent grades or entering into a much sought after course in the university make me a successful person? if yes then why do i feel that so much is still lacking in my life? i dont feel that there is something that i can truely be proud of. something that is truely mine and that i can call my own. i wish to be proud of the person that i am and to be known and remembered that why and not simply for what i have accieved. if anything at all.

was talking to my girlfriend and was telling her how much i wished i could believe in love that was happy ever after. the simple idealistic believe of love forever. when you meet someone, believe that thats who you will be spending the rest of your life with. but i just cant..cant seem to be able to give all of myself. and i do wish i could. cos life would be so much more simple and easier to live.

as always my mind seems incapable of thinking coherently and i am just rambling thoughts off the top of my head that i doubt even make sense.

thank you
to everyone who remembered and who made my day.

royal karma jimbaran
villa where i stayed.
pretty lovely.

the shower is just about my favourite spot in the villa and also what i miss the most.
feeling the hot water gush down and the strong jets wash over me as i stare up at the shining stars overhead.
priceless.

and my ice cold bintang
absolutely refreshing after a soak in the sea
and delightful with all else

just a shell
i left my heart behind.

expectation can only ever lead to disappointment.

it was only all ever a fragment of my immagination.

i could disappear right in front of you and you wouldnt even notice
but i guess
thats because you'd never even saw me to begin with.

Tabanan
my favourite beach in bali
feels almost like the end of the world
rock patterns(:
ferocious waves
river at sari's backyard
pretty black chick...adorable

after gulping mouthloads of sea water
being swallowed by countless waves
many falls and bruises later
i am proud to say that i can now surf. (:
no fanciful stunts or amazing tricks
but simply able to stand on the board, balance and ride the wave.
for someone like me with such an immense psycho-motor problem and huge trouble balancing even on the bus
this in itself is sure no mean feat.

the frogs are croaking miserably in the garden as the fish continue to swim aimlessly around in the pond.
savouring the last few nights here over a glass of vodlka as the cool breeze brushes over my skin and catches my hair.
the sky is lit with countless blinking bright lights
and it all just feels too good to be true.

i love having sweet memories to look back to
but memories are dead and come to naught with no future in sight.

as dreams get longer and sweeter you begin to believe that they are true.
dreams are only surreal.
some day you are going to have to wake up
thats when life becomes a living nightmare
everyday lacks the colour and lusture that you have come to know
its a bleak picture. 

happy birthday daddy
i love you
happy fathers day

pretty beaches
wonderful skies:
lovely sunshine
delectable delicacies
this is the life.

snorkling...body surfing...beaching
shopping...exploring
feasting
and enjoying every moment.
a much welcomed change today to spend the afternoon lounging in the villa in front of the telly devouring episodes of HOUSE
my does of medical drama now that GREYs has ended.
getting fat and lazy.
dreading wearing a bikini.

btw...did i mention that MTV gig guide is on tv now and i freaking saw myself on tv the minute i turned the telly on.
like wtf.

sand as black as coal glistening in the sunlight
seemed almost like walking atop a black carpet.
walls of water building up and crumbling down in a heartbeat
as the waves curled and crashed into the shore
azure blue skys
clouds sprawled across the horizon.
i almost believed that i had reached the end of the earth.

wish i could have better pictures to show you the beauty of it all
unfortunately
my camera's down.
and the phone doesnt even come close to doing justice in capturing the immense beauty of the place.

her smile can dry my tears
melt all my fears
bring sunshine into my life.
all i wanna do in bask in her laughter
and chase her around as she explores the world where every corner is a mystery and new experience.
time is too short.
i wish she was mine to have.

its just been a crazy blur of events rushing around to get everything settled before i head off to scorching sun and sandy beaches.
attacking the GSS with a frenzy that has left my wallet whimpering in pain.
sleeps been another thing that i have been doing frightfully alot of.
definitely not even close to the ideal lifestyle that the mother would wish me have.
works still enjoyable and a little more so after i have mastered the use of the POS system and can efficiently function as cashier as well as prepare drinks for the customers. 
amazingly, silly unfortunate accidents have been kept at a minimum and three weeks into the job and i have yet to make a fool out of myself. (: 
yay me.

i saw a shooting star
a string of alphabets strung together are totally inadequete to describe the immense beauty of that fleeting moment

examination results are out and i am stunned into silence.

my words run away with me
run away with my heart
and my thoughts...
that always seem so beyond my control
backround noises
shuffling footsteps
laughter
the ripples on the waters surface
the steady hum of the old motor boats and the whirring of propellers as they slice through the water
pungent odour of exhaust fumes
intermingled with cigarette smoke
stars far and few inbetween in the dark velvet sky.
the moon a smile looking down upon us all.

thanks for coming to get me.
*Huggies*